I HATE CHRISTMAS. So it's a perfect time to start posting in My LJ again (Sad ain’t it). I have been busy as all hell the past few months with work and acting classes.

I am going to make an effort to update this more often from now on.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Haven’t posted for awhile so I thought I would tell another servo story that happen before I made my LJ

I had only been at the servo for a two months working one shift a week. I was nervous about serving people and still had to look at the customer service manual when problems would arise.

It was late on a Thursday night. The summer hadn’t faded yet so I had to keep the aircon on or the chocolate bars would melt. I was thinking about closing the store 15mins early till I saw a car pulled up to the pump. Out stepped a pretty young brunette wearing a pink tank top and white jeans. Her hair was messy but structured and her fingernails were long and painted red. She walked with a cocky confidence and stretched her long legs as she put the mussel into the tank.

As attractive as she was, I was stressed and tired. The glue my eyes had on her was melted by my morning, lunch and mid afternoon addiction due to the coffee machine being broken. When she finished she strolled into the store and stopped at the entrance. I was too tired to fake a smile so I raised my eyebrows in a welcoming way (If that’s possible). She then turned her head and glanced around to store as if she was looking for witnesses before turning her attention back to me. In a seductive voice she muttered "Could I Pay with these" and promptly exposed her breasts to me

At this point I went into a mild state of shock. I wasn’t turned on (And if I was I wouldn’t admit it) I just couldn’t believe that she did it. With what thought I could process I reached for the customer service manual. I got as far as placing it on the bench till I decided that it probably wouldn’t have "Flashing" in the index. After a long silence I nervously muttered back to her "Sorry,, $10 please".

Looking quite hurt she put her top back down and slammed a $10 note on the counter then promptly left the store.

The moment she left I starting thinking "Damn,,, I should have said something like "there about $2.50 each so I’ll give you $5 off" or "Sorry, I don’t think they’ll look good on me".

After readjusting my pants I continued to close the store.

Don’t ya just hate it when you think of the perfect thing to say just after the moment has passed? Maybe I should ask BP to add a section in the Customer service manual titled "How to talk back to customers". I have already prepared what I am going to say to the next flasher, I just hope it’s not going to be one of the other gender

David (Stupid)

Hey all

Been a busy week.

I have just started up a once a week acting for film course and they wanted to know what my strengths are. I like to think the one thing I got is some versatility. So I sent them these pics

Look, on the gournd, it's SuperStupid



Hot and Heavy and Stupid



Who you calling Stupid?



Bout time you got a job Stupid



You don't want to mess with Stupid!




All I ever wanted is Stupid

And my favorite of all






Plain old Stupid



I think I got a good set of pics


Stupid

Most of my stories happen at work.

This one will be no different

It was a busy day at the servo. The Boss told me a new guy was coming in to be trained, a few customers tried to scam a free car wash from me which I called them on and I had to do all the ordering before 5 while we were getting close to 65 customers an hour.

It was starting to get to the eye of the storm as 2:30 rolled around. The store was getting calmer and there were less cars piling up outside. I was serving an older lady when I spotted a young guy entering the store and start walking around. I finished serving the old lady was from the corner of my eye I saw a figure coming towards me. Whoever it was he had just walked into the staff only area and I hadn’t closed the till yet. My first thought was "ROBBER".

See folks, most of us go through life thinking we’re tough, but when it comes to the test we end up shitting ourselves. I am no exception.

As the adrenaline kicked and I went to "Fight or flight" mode I turned my head to face the figure. In my panic I raised my arm and arched it. In a sharp finch I elbowed the "suspected robber" right in the throat with the force of an adrenaline junky.

The "suspect" fell to the floor choking and I took a good look at him. It was at that point I almost fainted

The new guy I have been praying for to do my Saturday night shifts, the guy I have been begging to my boss to hire to take away my stress load, is now laying on the servo floor choking with a shocked look on his face after an elbow to the throat. An elbow I delivered!

I really wished I spotted the "Trainee" badge before I hit him.

Getting back to my senses I decided there has to be a lesson in this, for all of us. I said I was sorry but no one is allowed behind the desk unless you know they are staff. Since he hadn’t announced himself he could have been anyone. Getting his breath back he admitted his mistake (He was wearing street clothes after all).

Offering him a hand up I said to him "And if umm,,, someone tries to rob the store,,, you umm,,, elbow them in the throat"

Time for bed

David

A friend of mine sent me this picture a week ago. It was titled "Unhappy Sex worker".

When I first saw the pic I felt very sorry for the Lady (being formally overweight myself). But when I was at work the next day I started laughing my head off about it.

Does this make me a bad person?

Well I guess I never claimed to be a good one

Stupid

Haven’t updated in awhile so I thought I will spill another servo story

  It was 8:45pm on a cold winter’s night. Rachael, the hottest customer that shops at the servo came in twice that day and spoke with me both times. She has the body of a supermodel with the personality of "the girl next door". I had a "happy" day. 
  
  I had already cleaned the bays, done all the bins and now it was time to see how much petrol was in the tank. I put on the dirty, reflective safety jacket (for legal purposes) grabbed the dip sheet and torch and headed out to check the dips. As I opened the unleaded tank I turned on the torch and pulled out the dipstick to see the measurements. On a windy night the petrol evaporates quickly and you have to work fast to get the right measurement. As I pulled the dipstick all the way out and looked down it with the torch something strange happened. The front of the torch broke open and two D size batteries fell lose. The hole into the petrol tank is small enough without a large stick in the center of it, but by a shear shift of fate one of the batteries managed to slip in. For a moment, everything went slow motion. 

  I could hear the battery circle around the tunnel and then splash into the tank. The idea of an electric charge into 28,000lts of petrol (It would have to be on the day it was filled) for some strange reason scared me so hard the not only the hair on my head was standing. Dropping the dipstick back into the tank a screwed the cap back on in a frantic fit. My sigh of relieve was not long lasting as I ponder if the cap alone could stop a 28,000lt blast. I ran back into the servo and hit the lights so no customers would come. 

  Figuring if a blast would occur it would have already happened I calmed myself and out of guilt rang my boss. He was at a party the background noise was strong. After idling for a bit I told him what happen. The background noise muffled with voice as he yelled his head off at me. After about 4mins of him yelling and me saying, "Come again?" he told me he would ring back. I opened the Herald Sun and started looking through the job section. The best I could find was a dishwasher for Tarco Bills (been there before). The boss finally rang back and to my surprise thanked me for the call. He said and I quote "I don’t know if I would have the balls to tell my boss that".

No, the servo wasn’t going to blow up, or at least as I thought it would have gone up already. I switched back on the lights and put the paper away.

To think I could have blew myself up and other people as well doesn’t keep me up at night anymore, but Rachael still does

David

I was at the pub last Thursday with the camarilla crew. I was having a great time as always till I met a lady named Robin. She claims to work in the fashion industry and I am told to never lend money to her. We were having a chat over a pair of 60s pants that my sister got for me. I decided to put them on to see how they looked. The pants were cool but what happened next wasn’t. As soon as I came back the first thing Robin said was "Nice ASS". Pretending not to understand I responded "What do you want to ASK me". Then right in font of me she turned to Drew and said "I would hit that".

I must confess something at this point. I haven’t had an offer in awhile, nor have I had a g/f in about half a year (And even then it was iffy). But I am just a little picky. And I have some morals about who I sleep with.

I pretend to pass the comment off as something else then stepped away. But I was not rid of her. She then grabbed my ass from behind and start trying to have a "Deep and Meaningful" chat with me. In the course of her rant she told me how her ex husband told his lawyer that she cheated on him in their marriage. I asked her if she did and her response was " Yes, but I didn’t want him to tell the lawyer that". I couldn’t get my eyes off her teeth even though I wanted too. I think she had enough gum in her jaw line to create 3 boxes of Red Skins. I was looking pretty nervous/disgusted at this point. The " "Living Legend" Andrew O’Conner I think picked this up on his Daveda and came over stating "I feel like pie". Using this as my "Get out of Crabs free card" We then headed for the 7/11. Just before I left Robin grabbed me and brought me in close.

This is where I made my first mistake. Instead of saying "No" I said "Not Now" as she tried to kiss me. Heading out of the pub Andrew started laughing and I followed. I said to Andrew "Where’s Sharon to start a gay rumor when you need her".

Then came my seconded mistake. I came up with the brilliant plan of getting Andrew to tell Robin I was gay.

Heading back to the pub I started mixing from group to group trying to avoid her. Andrew then got her alone and told her I was gay.

  It didn’t take as much convincing on Andrew’s part as I would have liked. She then crack onto him but he did the smart thing and told her she was a slut (in nicer words I would guess). I saw Andrew and her talking. Later I went to Andrew and he said "Yep, told her" I sighed in relief and started crapping on about how I would rather her think I was gay then hit on me till Andrew whispered "She’s behind you" I then grabbed Andrews Chain and started Meowing. He didn’t look impressed

After awhile Robing came back to talk to me. The conversation went something like this

Robin: David, is it true

Me: Umm,, yes, I’m gay sugar buns.

Robin: I thought you were too young

Me: Your never to young to be gay

Robin: Well,,, when did you first know?

Me: Umm.. I always did

Robin: Yeah but when was your first gay experience?

Me: Umm.. When I was 12, I was in a male locker room and I cracked a boner

Robin: *laugh* so what do you like most about men?

Me: Umm,, there ass I guess? Oh and that cock is good too

Robin: What boys do you like

Me: Well,, I always liked that Patrick Swayze. He had a great ass. Oh and the Hoff, I can’t get my eyes off the bulge in his pants.

At this point I started to have fun but I don’t want to go into any more detail.

She then started telling me about gay boys she knew and whom she could hook me up with. I made some lame excuse, can’t remember what it was and I stopped talking to her.

Why didn’t I just reject her straight off the Mark? I am not good with these situations 

Time for Bed

12:30 the other night my mother told me we had no milk for the morning. Being such a great son I decided to walk down to the servo for her. Because of the roads in my area it’s much faster to walk then drive. My mum told me she just saw the weather channel and it’s only 2 degrees outside. Thinking "Nah, it can’t be that cold" I headed out. My mum wasn’t lying it was freezing. By the time I reached the servo my ears where ready for a home made piercing. I open the fridge door to grab the milk and the thermostat read 4 degrees.

The fridge inside the servo was warmer then the weather outside. 

That’s Melbourne for ya.

Haven’t up dated in awhile,, What have I done?

I went to Sydney for a Week and Brisbane the Next. I did nothing too interesting, and that’s what I enjoyed about it. I guess I get such a fill of crap in real like that on my holiday, I just some quite.

But no trip comes without a few stories. When I am not falling asleep I’ll spill a few

David (aka Stupid)